Building New Wings

This has been a year of reinvention for me, of dreaming up a new dream. I feel like at sometime or another, each one of us is faced with the reality that what we imagined in our head to happen in our lives is not going to happen. It is then that we can either wade in the floods of our disappointment or take flight in the joy of our new dreams.

Unfortunately, a downside of my job is the tearing down of students' dreams. Time and again, I am forced to give someone the reality that what they had envisioned for their lives is simply not feasible. Either to lack of planning on their part or sheer ignorance, they were simply unaware and unprepared for the reality that they will not be spending their young and exciting years at the college of their choice. 

There, in that moment of devastation, is the chance to build anew. Can't afford school? Maybe take a year off and travel. Or start working at a non-profit. Get some perspective and try again next year. Or maybe find that this dream was not what you wanted at all and learn to enjoy a new one. This is what I want to tell people. Tell them that they may have just been released into the wild, but it might be the best adventure of their lives.

Via Pinterest

And that is what I have been doing. Growing up, I always wanted to be a mommy. Wanted to have little ones surrounding me and nurturing them like an earth-mama. Then, as I got older, I started to see what other things I wanted in life first. Like to travel the world. Enjoy a good couple years of marriage. Make enough money to buy my first new car and have a decent wardrobe. Go on a backpacking trip that I had been putting off all throughout college.

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Then came the shattering. It was just a faint plus sign on a stick, but it was enough to make my whole world come tumbling down. It was then that the Lord was whispering to me, "It's time to dream a new dream."

Our First Picture of Baby

And so I have. I have been holding on to the precious moments with my husband that will soon be few and far between. I am savoring the lingering baths and last minute trips, knowing that those will be a thing of the past in just a few short months. But I have also been saving up new little dreams in my heart. Like the thought of holding my son close for the first time. Or showing him the wonder of the outdoors. In the quietness at the dinner table, I imagine how joyous and loud it will soon be. I think of watching this little being grow into a man with thoughts and opinions of his own. 

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I look down at my belly and watch the kicking and squirming, watch as life is unfolding inside, and I know, HE is my new dream.

And maybe it was the better dream to have all along.