The whole year I was afraid to look back on everything that had happened and fully comprehend all that I had to accomplish. I was worried if I thought too much about it I would not have the heart to get up in the morning and face another day.
So when reflection, unanticipated and unlooked for, hit me that night, I felt exhausted. I felt like I had no strength left to take me through the next year. My husband had to drag me to bed and I tried my hardest to shut my mind off.
And then… the morning came. And Ben slept beautifully that night and I was the most rested I've been since long before I got pregnant. We all cuddled in bed, made a big breakfast and set out to hike and experience nature.
And we went to the highest bridge in California.
And then on a beautiful walk through the foothills.
And found a quiet place by the American River to show Ben when he woke up.
And skipped rocks like we were 10 years old again.
And by then the weight was lifted and I felt like the old me again. Unanticipated and unlooked for, the strength to face a new year came.
Just as it did everyday last year. Endless baby wails gave way to a small bright smile. Fights gave way to kisses. And unbearable weariness gave way to grace.
It may be a burden, but it is light.
