No friends, no family, no babysitters.
Just my husband, who works 60 hours a week at night, and me.
To say it was baptism by fire would be the understatement of the year.
Thankfully, I was able to pick up a few tricks, tips and hard-earned lessons along the way that helped make life manageable for all of us.
The most valuable lesson that I learned within a few months can be summed up in one mantra:
More effort in the short term means less work in the long run.
All the shortcuts in the world will mean nothing unless you are willing to put a little more effort up front. A lot of these tips feel impossible when you are in survival mode, but as someone who started out in survival mode, I promise they will make your life so much easier. Just take it one step at a time and as you clear each hurdle, it will make the next step seem much more possible.
Believe me, I know a little something about survival mode...
It is important to remember that you cannot give what you do not have. Taking care of your body on the most basic level will make you that much more able to take care of your loved ones.
This means cutting eating out and convenience foods to the bare minimum. (I told you it seems impossible, right?)
Eating foods that are chocked full of preservatives, sugar, and rancid fats and oils will only leave you more drained and tired in the end because your body has no real fuel to go on.
So the ironic thing is that although eating out is easier in the short term, it robs you and your family in the long term.
Eating at home does not mean that it has to be difficult. It can take mere minutes to throw together a chicken slathered in butter and veggies tossed with salt, pepper and coconut oil in the oven, but it will be life-giving food instead of the artificial life-destroying convenience foods.
When my son was 4 months old, we began to have problems with nursing. He was completely unsatisfied no matter how long I nursed him. It wasn't that he was hungry 30 or even 10 minutes later; he screamed as soon as he unlatched. I was completely mystified and terrified. As a mama, it feels as if your first duty is to nourish your little ones and there is no worse feeling than when it seems you are not doing that one thing.
Thankfully, very shortly thereafter I found the Weston A. Price Foundation and their diet for pregnant and nursing mothers. Taking baby steps, I started to implement their recommendations. As soon as I switched out my morning cereal and low fat smoothie (I was working towards becoming a vegetarian at the time) for whole fat milk and eggs fried in butter, Ben calmed down within days and happily nursed until he was 18 months old.
Not only that, but he became such a happy and content baby. Before my switch, he was a typical baby with crying spells and restlessness, but after he became one of the happiest babies I have seen.
I had people stop me in the store all the time to tell me what a happy baby he was and literally had one kind lady ask me, "What do you feed him that makes him so happy?"!
My happy baby
Nourishing yourself makes a major difference in how well you can survive adjusting to the demanding life of young children.
Which leads to point two...
2. Do NOT give your baby sugar
For some, this may come too late and you may have to find ways to wean them off of it for the most part.
However, my biggest advice is to not even start giving them sugary snacks or desserts, including fruit juice (even 100%) and cereal (Cheerios essentially turns into sugar once it hits their system).
It may look cute to see a baby with ice cream smeared all over their smiling face, but the inevitable sugar crash is anything but. Not only is it giving your child nutrient-displacing foods and unnecessary additives and chemicals during an extremely critical time of their development, but dealing with kids hopped up on sugar is more of a headache than it's worth.
I have read many bloggers advise giving kids sugary "special" cereal or treats when Mama needs a break, but that is the most counter-intuitive thing you can do. Dealing with their mad sugar-rush-and-crash only makes life even harder.
Not only that, but it is Pandora's box. Once they get a taste for it, their bodies will crave it. Studies have shown over and over again that sugar is as addictive as drugs. In fact, one study showed that cocaine-addicted rats will STILL choose sugar over crack.
Ben prefers Kombucha instead
The easiest way to handle it is by cutting it off at the source and not giving your child a taste for it. Believe me, your child will not miss what he/she has not had.
No begging for donuts or cupcakes, no wild sugar-induced hysteria, no crashing and burning.
Last weekend we took Ben to the Apple Farms and he was overjoyed to munch on the apples, while all around us sullen kids munch on their donuts and guzzled apple cider. In fact, one boy sitting near us complained that the cider wasn't sweet enough.
Our day at the Apple Farm, processed-food free
You are not being overbearing. You are being a parent and doing what is best for your child. And making your and your child's lives SO much easier and happier in the process.
Which leads to the next point number 3...
3. Give your baby lots and lots of healthy fats
Babies and toddlers are made up mostly of fat. Their brains are growing a phenomenal rates and brains are mostly fat and cholesterol.
Give your child as much fat as he/she needs to make sure they can grow as optimally as possible.
Optimal growth in the brain means better behavior and less occurrence of mood disorders.
I don't know about you, but that seems like an easier child to deal with to me.
Not only will it help their development, but it also keeps from the dreaded sugar crashes that make children hungry (read= grumpy) every ten minutes.
Do not be afraid to give your child full-fat milk, yogurt, cheese, lard, eggs, coconut oil, butter, fish, meat, avocado, olive oil and any other fat in its natural form.
Eggs and butter- one of Ben's first foods
Plus, it's an easy way to get kids to eat vegetables. Ben LOVED when I would give him cooked veggies tossed in butter and sprinkled with goat cheese and gobbled it UP!
See?
Making homemade purees can be excellent first foods, but make sure they have lots of fat in them. The problem with simply steaming and blending fruits and veggies is that it has no real substance to them and your child will be hungrier (grumpier) faster. Be sure to add a little butter, coconut oil, or cream to make it heartier and healthier for your baby (the vitamins in the fat will help your child absorb the nutrients in the fruit and veggies better).
A major rule in our house is that fruit is ALWAYS paired with fat. Fruit is still sugar and will have the same crash when consumed by itself. I give my son some cheese or milk with his banana or apple in order to help even out the effects of the sugar.
By giving my son less sugar and more filling fats it leads to my next tip.
4. Do not let your child snack all day
Ben eats three meals a day. That's it.
He might get a little cheese or milk in-between lunch and dinner, or a banana as a reward, but there is no snack times.
Giving children snacks is a vicious cycle.
First of all, typical child snacks are nothing more than sugar that temporarily take up room in their bellies without giving them any substantial nutrition. This includes Cheerios and Yogurt Stars. Even if they claim to be "organic", they are nothing more than organic sugar.
Then, when they have a sugar crash they will require more snacks.
Finally, when meal time comes, they have been grazing all day and are not hungry for their meal.
It's good for a child to be hungry when meal time comes. That means they will actually eat and fill up their bodies on the good homemade meal you spent your time preparing for them. (Remember tip #1?) Which makes meal time that much less of a battlefield.
Typical dinner time!
Snacks are a nuisance. Instead, give your child filling, nutritious meals that will last them until next mealtime.
This is definitely a dense post and may seem overwhelming to a new parent, but hopefully it has some good guidelines to implement. Because I have learned that a happy baby means a happy life. It doesn't mean your child will be perfectly behaved and an angel baby all the time (did you see the first picture I posted???), but one less meltdown only makes your life that much easier!!! Which means less survival mode and more thriving!
I will post more tips later that have less to do with nutrition and more to do with logistics, so stay tuned!
