I've been there. In my need to be as prepared and ready as I could be for the impending arrival of my son, I dug too deep into the internet.
I vividly remember being on my phone with my husband, absolutely bewildered, shouting, "Why do I need to wear frozen pads for two months after the baby?! WHY? What is this Cretan going to do to my body???"
I read about PPD (Postpartum Depression), about the endless tears, sleepless nights and frustrations of having a baby. I read how I will NEVER get my body back (not the encouragement I needed after ballooning over 50 pounds in nine months) and that I can say goodbye to my sanity.
There was never anything hopeful in the articles, only the laconic line at the very end "But the baby is worth it." Sounds like a pretty raw deal to me, right?
I wanted to punch everyone that told me to enjoy my sleep while I was pregnant: partly because of the baby hormones, and partly because I was so sleep deprived and tired that for the second half of my pregnancy I was sleeping only a very fragmented few hours each night (helloooo restless legs!). I cannot express my annoyance when everyone was warning me to enjoy every moment now while I was throwing up absolutely everything I managed to choke down. At one point I was wandering around the hospital with a bottle of ginger beer and running to the bathroom every 10 minutes throwing even that up while waiting to get my anti-nausea medication. And it was only suppose to get worse???
Yup, there I am. I could have sworn I was promised at least a pregnancy glow?
I found being a mom to a newborn 1,000 times easier than pregnancy. I was more well rested waking up every 3 hours to feed my son than my entire pregnancy.
Also, after experiencing labor, your first poop can possibly feel like a walk in the park in comparison. I was terrified of that the last three months of my pregnancy.
Judging from every post on the internet everywhere about babies you would have every right to assume that newborns are THE WORST and there's nothing you can do to prepare.
It's not that bad for everyone though. There's baby cuddles (which are THE BEST), firsts, new experiences, and finally connecting with the being that felt like a parasite for far too long. Also, wine, coffee and the ability to see your feet again.
I mean, come on, look at that face!
I felt energized after labor and like I could do anything after growing and birthing this beautiful, perfect creature. I lost all the baby weight in FOUR months and other than a few faded stretch marks on my hips, there is no difference between my body before and after baby.
Four months and fifty pounds after the scary pregger picture above
Now before someone crucifies me, I must clarify that every mom is different. Just because it was easier for me does not mean it will be easier for you. I know some new moms that breezed through pregnancy and struggled with being a new mom. Also, postpartum depression is real and if you find yourself in an emotional hole I would encourage you to seek help.
And although it has been easier than pregnancy, it is still a lot of work. There were definitely days when it felt like all my son did was cried. There have also been days of absolute exhaustion (he is still working on sleeping through the night at 7 months) and dirty looks at my husband when he asks what's for dinner (whatever you want to make, THAT'S WHAT).
But times like this melts even my cold heart.
But, I just want to give you, future mom, the tiniest scrap of hope. Hope that breastfeeding is not impossibly difficult for everyone (which means if it is for you, you should also seek help). Hope that your life is not over (my husband is still himself, and I am definitely still me, flaws and all). Hope that although some parts may be difficult, tedious, painful and endless, it is not all doom and gloom.
It is a time of love, not a prison sentence.
So please, step away from the internet and go take a nap.
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